Just two days before Mother’s Day in 1998, my wife became a mother for the first time. Twenty-three years later, my daughter became a mother when our first grandchild was born just a week before Mother’s Day. With eight children of our own and now one grandchild, it goes without saying that Mother’s Day is a big event in our home. Yet, while being a mother “simply” requires giving birth, leaving a mother’s legacy is something else. At its core, motherhood is a life-long calling and compulsion of investment into the lives of children. Now I realize that in dealing with this subject that some children grow up without a mother and some mothers lose their children. Some ladies never bear children at all. Regardless of the hardships and various family situations you may have found yourself, you can still have an influence in the life of a young person and lay a piece of a mother’s legacy into their lives.
There is something to be gained by examining what makes a good mother and Scripture has much to say on the subject. Proverbs 31 is one such example. This space doesn’t allow me to provide a complete list (as there are MANY), but I’d like to draw a few thoughts from Scripture as they relate to my own experience and the legacy my own mother has instilled in me. Here are four things to consider:
Provision – “She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household” (Proverbs 31:15). In all my years growing up, I can’t remember a single time that I woke up before my mother. She usually had to rouse me out of bed to get ready for school. When I came down each morning, she was always up and dressed. She would get breakfast for me and always had a plan for lunch and dinner each day. There was never a time when I can remember asking “What’s for dinner tonight?” that she didn’t already know the answer. The legacy here is that provision requires discipline, planning, and consistency over the long term.
Wisdom – “She openeth her mouth with wisdom” (Proverbs 31:26a). Knowledge and wisdom were two things that characterized my mother. We watched Jeopardy on TV most nights and she always seemed to know the answer to every question and the first to shout it out. And although most of the time she knew the answer to my questions, she always thought before she gave an answer. Her responses were not reactionary or emotional outbursts. They were measured and designed to teach. The legacy here is that wisdom is more than knowing all the answers. You also need to know how and when to use that information effectively.
Encouragement – “In her tongue is the law of kindness” (Proverbs 31:26b). My own mother always believed in me. There were numerous times growing up that I would hatch up some wacky endeavor I wanted to embark upon. This ranged from selling shoes door-to-door to raising sheep. While I’m sure she saw right through some of my mis-guided schemes (such as the time I built a clubhouse directly under her clothesline), she was kind and supportive. She had faith for me even in those times when I doubted in myself. She knew that God had something special for me to do in life and kept pointing me in that direction. The words, “You can do anything you set your mind to do” still ring in my ears today. The legacy here is that kindness and encouragement are always in season and often reap benefits in others for years to come.
Selflessness – “She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness” (Proverbs 31:27). My mother never really talked much about herself. I didn’t know her struggles or hardships, although I’m sure she had many. Instead, she always showed interest in me. She was aware of what I was doing and where I was going. Before I could drive, she was always there to take me where I needed to go (even if it meant waiting at length in a hot car in the parking lot). She never complained and was never in a bad mood when she greeted me. The legacy here is that we each should esteem others more highly than ourselves. This demonstrates the same type of love that Christ has for us.
Of course, there are many more things that create a mother’s legacy such as prayer, love, and “training up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6). While you may not have had the same experience as myself, recognize this one thing – that no matter your family situation, you are creating some kind of legacy to the young people around you. They may be your kids, grandkids, or children in your church family. Invest in their lives. Some of them are not getting the mother’s legacy at home that they need. You may be the one that God has chosen to pour into them and instill in them the legacy of a mother.