One of the most frequent questions I have gotten while dealing with my COVID recovery has been, “Where do you think you got it?” This is a well-meaning question, I’m sure. We have been conditioned by our medical experts to work on tracing the source. However, belying the question is often a more personal ambition: We want someone or something to blame.

By satisfying our desire to determine the origin of an outbreak, it can put us in a position to sit in judgment about the other person’s perceived irresponsibility. While I’ve always said that we need to take reasonable precautions (and, for the record, I believe that I have personally and that we have corporately as a church), I don’t believe there anything helpful about trying to play the blame game. In doing so, we are attempting to satisfy a question that can only end in speculation. We simply can never know the answer for sure. I know of people who stayed inside at all times through this pandemic and almost never left the house except when absolutely necessary (such as a doctor visit), and have contracted the virus. I also know of others who have (of necessity) kept working in the public sector or had circumstances arise that put them in direct contact with literally hundreds of people. These people never got COVID. The truth is, we really can’t say with certainty why some people will get it and others won’t because, as I’ve said before - God is in control.

Yet, we like to play the blame game. It’s the same age-old game played by Job’s friends. When Job sat there in his affliction (through no fault of his own), his friends came along and they started in with the same rhetoric. Why do you think this is happening to you Job? Let’s figure out who is really to blame for your circumstances. Eliphaz told him, “Remember, I pray thee, who ever perished, being innocent? or where were the righteous cut off? Even as I have seen, they that plow iniquity, and sow wickedness, reap the same.” (Job 4:7-8). Bildad piled on his blame with this wisdom for Job: “Behold, God will not cast away a perfect man, neither will he help the evil doers” (Job 8:20). Zophar casts the final insult to Job with the comment, “For thou hast said, My doctrine is pure, and I am clean in thine eyes. But oh that God would speak, and open his lips against thee” (Job 11:4-5). Do you see how none of this was helpful to either Job or the situation he was placed in (neither was any of it actually correct!). So, what does the blame game actually accomplish and why is it dangerous for us?

1. It FEEDS a desire for GOSSIP – The more we can dig for information, the more gems we have to share with others. Gossip relies on digging out the details, conflating them into great theories, and then disseminating those juicy tidbits into the pipeline. This is counter-productive to edifying others or building up the church.
2. It FUELS SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS – Suppose that blame game turns up some kind of information that demonstrates the person was negligent, mis-informed, lazy, or impudent in their conduct. Maybe you can prove in your mind that they brought this on themselves. When that occurs, it is too easy to play the “I told you so” card. This sets us up in a place of pride and self-righteousness. Putting yourself in this state of perceived superiority over another is only going to set you up for a fall.
3. It offers a FALSE sense of CONTROL – The very nature of the question assumes that you believe there is a concrete answer for how the virus was transmitted. This presumes a false sense of control that you can somehow control your own fate in regards to it. While there are reasonable precautions to be taken, there should be no illusion that you can control whether or not you will get it. Wash your hands and wear your mask when you need to, but don’t ever put your trust in these things. God is in control. He will choose the time and manner and the when and where you might get this thing.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not singling anyone out with this blog. I’m genuinely thankful for the outpouring of love and offers to help me and my family through this time. Some have brought meals, some have plowed my driveway, many are praying, and I even appreciate those who have asked the hard questions. Just be careful not to get too wrapped up into the blame game. It can lead you down a path that you shouldn’t be on. Besides, you don’t ever want to be compared to one of Job’s friends!