Recently a string of tornadoes ripped through the heart of our country, leaving a path of destruction and death in their wake. Homes were destroyed and many lives were lost in an instant. In one interview with the news, one little girl who survived had begun referring to her home heartbreakingly as “the pile”. Dealing with loss of property and, even more acutely, loss of loved ones is never an easy proposition. Grief is a formidable foe and especially if the tragedy is recent and severe, it takes time to work through the grieving process with God’s strength. This sense of loss and emptiness is often amplified at Christmas, as loved ones left behind find themselves reflecting on the memories of how things once were and ponder the possibilities of a future that will never occur.

Giving time for God’s peace to fill your heart after the loss of a loved one is necessary and it does take time to heal. There also comes a point where you need to get some perspective on the new reality you have been given. This is especially true at Christmas and other holidays when the heaviness and loss wants to renew its claim on your soul. Spend a few minutes to read the story of how King David coped with the death of his young infant son (2 Samuel 12:16-24). There is much to gain from this account of how David handled this difficult death. The text shows the deep pain, worry, guilt, and all-consuming grief that David was going through while his child was sick. Yet, something surprising happens when the child finally passes away. David changes his posture, accepts the finality of the situation, and moves forward according to God’s plan. With that framework in mind, perhaps these thoughts will be a help to you in this season:

1. Change Your Posture - The Bible says, “David arose from the earth, and washed, and anointed himself, and changed his apparel, and came into the house of the Lord, and worshipped; then he came to his own house; and when he required, they set bread before him, and he did eat” (v.20). Part of handling the loss of a loved one is refusing to live in a constant state of mourning. It requires taking some steps to get your life back in order, get perspective, and keep moving forward. Note that worshipping the Lord is a key part of David’s response. It may seem natural to want to be alone and cloister yourself away to deal with your pain, but the most helpful thing will be to get around God’s people to fellowship and worship. Don’t allow yourself to remain stuck in a place where your life is put on a permanent hold. Take steps to resume normalcy again.


2. Accept the Finality of Loss – When David hears the news that the child is gone, he says “Now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again?” (v.23). Having a response like this is not harsh, uncaring, or disrespectful of the dead. David surely felt the deep emotions of his loss (see v. 16-18), but he was also prepared to accept the finality of it when it came to pass. You can’t bring back your lost loved one, recreate that lost memory, or live in light of what you once had. Part of the healing process is to accept your loss. You might want to honor your loved one in some special way to keep those memories close, but use it as a means to find closure instead of keeping the pain of loss alive in your heart.


3. Look Forward to God’s Plan – God’s plan for David’s legacy did not die with the loss of his child. Sometime afterward, Bathsheba came to “bare a son, and he called his name Solomon: and the LORD loved him” (v.24). Solomon would become the richest and wisest king that Israel would ever know. His kingdom would extend farther than any other. It was through Solomon that God’s promises to mankind would be fulfilled. Now, don’t assume that just because a loved one was taken from you that they can somehow be replaced. But, you can always assume that God has a greater plan than you can see. Part of looking forward through a loss is to trust that the Lord has some greater purpose to be fulfilled in it. You may never understand how or why this was needed, but your trust in God’s plan needs to be sure.

I know that many have experienced loss, pain, and grief this past year. For some, it may be a fresh loss and you need to know that it will take time to work through the stages of grief in the mourning process. For others, you may find that Christmas and other holidays bring back the grief in new ways. There may be days when you feel like the Psalmist who wrote “My tears have been my meat day and night” (Psalm 42:3). Yet, be reminded (especially at this Christmas season) of the great hope we have through His Son, Jesus Christ – for the same Psalm reminds us – “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.” (Psalm 42:11)